The Beautiful Chaos of Becoming Whole

That would be paradise, right?

Just let go. Set boundaries. Breathe deeply.

Float into peace like a serene, unbothered goddess.

But let’s be honest , chasing peace like it’s a full-time job?

That might work for people hiding in a cabin with no WiFi and no trauma.

I don’t want to disconnect from the world, I want to feel it. I want to live in it. Fully.

I’ve got childhood abandonment issues, an abusive relationship or two in the rearview, and now I’ve hit midlife and gone,

“Shit… I have a decade (or more) of stuff to unpack.”

All while navigating major life transitions:

Putting my husband in long-term care, caring for my mom, downsizing, selling my house, starting over, and doing it all solo.

Not because I had to…

But because I could.

Because I’m a badass bitch who handles what needs to be handled, even when no one’s clapping for it.

Even when it’s quiet and lonely and hard.

Sometimes I wasn’t ignoring red flags, I was surviving.

Sometimes I didn’t process what was happening because I couldn’t.

But now? Now I can. And I am.

I’m reflecting without getting stuck.

Dreaming without getting delusional.

Making plans for a future where I’m not reliving the same emotional Groundhog Day over and over again.

✨ Peace, for me, isn’t detachment.

✨ It’s presence.

✨ It’s boundaries and softness.

✨ It’s the choice to heal even when it’s messy.

So yeah, I’m choosing peace.

But it’s not quiet or cute.

It’s raw. It’s earned. And it’s mine.